Monday, June 30, 2008

Endless Support

I cant thank enough for the emotional support that everyone has left in the comment boxes.
You have definitely made me feel better .
Thanks babes! Love ya!
Bee-outch

Still on going...

Omg...

Asal ku drive down to work, I always imagine how things could have gotten better, how I could turned back time and if I has super hero powers, what would I do with them. hahaha

My week has been the same. Nothing exciting has come up except for come interesting stories from the in-laws last week while helping them filling up some job applications. Aside from that, nothing exciting lah.

However they have been some concerns that have been bothering me still ( I still think about it almost everyday) but thank god, with my Metallica blasting in the background when I drive down to work – I tend to forget about it at by the time I reach the office. Yes, I still listen to them. It may be old-skool but I still think they rock. So fuck you if you think otherwise.

And one thing I have noticed about myself is that I have been keeping things inside. I have been testing situations by asking certain individuals questions and see what their responses are. So far, it has been disappointing. Continuously disappointing..

Right now, I feel I want to pack my things and go somewhere to find myself again.

I want to be happy.

I want to find the reason that makes me feel alive again.

I have been taking care of others so its only fair that its my turn now.

Don’t you think?

Bee-Outch

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Googled it up... How to be a Happy Mum: The Netmums book

Maybe i should give this book a try..

As reviewed in Amazon..

This book, just like the Netmums website, came about because we know exactly what it feels like to be a miserable mum.

We know how it feels to want, so badly, to be a perfect mum, but to feel you are failing at every turn. We know how it feels when you look about and think that every other mum seems to know instinctively what to do, while you sometimes feel you are barely coping.

The truth is that no one finds it easy being a mum. It isn't easy! Everyone has difficult times and stressful times. But there are solutions. There are ways of coping with these stresses and of enjoying being a mum to young children. It is possible to be a good mum and a happy mum. And it's important for mums to be happy. Mums are the centre of the family and the centre of the home. If mums are happy, children will be happy.

Key topics covered:
Friends: why we need mum friends and how to keep them


How to stop your children's behaviour being so stressful and how to enjoy your children instead

Sleep: Without sleep everything seems worse...here's how to get more of it Relationships: It is possible to have a loving relationship with your partner post-children. Here's how...

Money and working: To work or not to work? And how on earth to juggle it all without collapsing

Childcare: Who to leave them with? How do you know?

Clutter and chaos: It shouldn't be so important but it is! Housework is the no. 1 stress factor in a recent survey of mums. Lots of ideas for how to deal with it and how to get a better sense of perspective

Lack of me-time: Do you always have to be last on the list? Why it's important and why it isn't selfish

Depression and stress: Are you depressed? or just stressed? Or just exhausted? How do you know and how to you start to feel better?The unexpected (or the stuff life throws at us): There's always something isn't there?

Just when you think you've made it, something else comes along.

How to cope with the unexpected and what to expect from life.

This book takes each of these problems in turn and examines them and the issues surrounding them. If you have a new baby, you may be all-consumed by sleep (Chapter 3),
but as that sorts itself out, you might find you are arguing with your partner more than usual (Chapter 4).
Then you find you have money worries, so you need to look at whether you should go back to work including loads of ideas for compromise and working from home (Chapter 5)
and how to find the childcare you will need (Chapter 6).
And of course keeping on top of the housework is something we battle with every day (Chapter 7)
while finding time for ourselves takes the lowest priority...find out why it is important and how to build in me-time (Chapter 8)

Our panel of hand selected experts offer an insight into and understanding of these problems and why they are so common amongst mums. We offer practical solutions, coping strategies, new ways of looking at things and crucially, we draw on the experience and wisdom of many other mothers who have been through these issues and lived to tell the tale.


Ask the Netmums:

What was the biggest shock for you about becoming a mum?
The sheer frustration and effort required to get ready to leave the house. No longer could I shove on a pair of trainers and grab my keys! Outings have to be planned with military precision and getting everyone ready takes so long. Three years down the line it is still driving me bonkers!

Sarah Jo

The fact that people automatically assume you know what you are doing! The midwives at the hospital were a nightmare. Sam is my first baby and nobody tells you how to do the basics. I remember getting frustrated because I couldn't burp him (he was later diagnosed with reflux). When I asked the midwife how to do it, the helpful answer I got was ‘you just do it'. There is this little person totally reliant on you and no instruction manual!

Michelle

The lack of sleep. I know people warn you, but I really wasn't prepared for it. I was breastfeeding and up every two to three hours for almost six months. I never got a full night's sleep until my son was eighteen months old. I spent a lot of time being excessively tired, grumpy and very short-tempered. It put a real strain on my relationship with my husband. It was absolutely amazing when my son started sleeping through; it was like a weight had been lifted from the house and everything started falling into place.

Irina, mum to Max, 2

Hmmmm..maybe i shall get this book afterall...

Bee-oucth

Feeling SAD..


I woke up feeling tired, confused and sad.

What hubby said to me about how impatient I can be when it came to being a mother made me really well… sad.. I thought I was doing my best. I know I can lose my temper and boy can I! But I thought I was doing the best as I can..

What makes a good mother?
How can I be one?
Am I on the right track?
How can I do things right?

I come home during lunch so that we can spend the time we have before I go to classes after work.
I come home and cook when I can so he eats as well as the rest of the family when im on my study leave.
I sacrifice my favorite TV shows just so that he watches his favorite interactive cartoons.
I enjoy watching him smile and laugh every time I praise him for doing something good.
I enjoy him going “yum!yum!” everytime he eats my cooking.
I enjoy tickling him and hear him squeal..
I enjoy everything about him..

Mum said that he is the exact replica of me when I was his age. He has my temper, my features, my character and worse, my tantrums! All I had to do was use reverse physiology on him.. Been doing that plang for the past few days and so far I have manage to control my anger when dealing with his tantrums. And he sees his mummy acting all weird so he’ll just stops what he was doing and continue watching Pocoyo. So what mum said was right! Alhamdullilah. I pray to god I can keep my disciplinary technique that way.

But… I was also thinking, Should I be at the blame solely? I mean sometimes I could use the extra help around the house too you know. When im not around, I would appreciate if the family members would help to monitor at what his eating and how much his eating ( the amah is horrible at cooking and I can only wake up at 5.30 most of the time when the ones where I wake up late – tired banar tah ku), ensure that the place is kept tidy kah, uras2 on the carpet tolong vacuum sikit2 kah.. but most of the time I FEEL (feel ah..bukan pointing fingers ) semua depend on me to do it.

Every since the maid has her mobile, she cant be bothered to cook proper food let alone for herself.. lacy bitch.. Im only keeping quiet because she doesn’t treat Aiman badly but still seriously, you cant use jaga anak as an excuse.. Aiman naps at least 2 hours straight each day.. What does she do in that 2 hours? Tau ku jua ia meliat tv kali tu ah.

I go back home to cook for the family and especially aiman who i know is usually hungry by 5.30 and 6 pm. And of course, mum and pam is usually back at that time as well. I cook, set the table, feed Aiman early and all of us have family dinner. After that everyone helps out with the washing.. Fine.. No complains there. But after that everytone starts doing their own business.

For example last nite, on the living room table there were about 2 milk bottles lying around. Busy with guest who were coming to house, I assumed my sis who was using the very same table, using her laptop and the bottle under her nose would put it away… After dinner (ended around midnight) and cleaning the kitchen etc etc, the bottles were still at the same spot ani bah! Macam nada orang peduli kan alihkan to the kitchen kah.. tolong cuci kah.. NADA.

Kan tagur jadi kelahi..

One will tell me “its my rest day! No one understands me!” and…
I can’t push hubby jua because he’s tired from work and his leisure time is guitar, sleep and be in the room with his laptop or sit infront of his PC. (better then entertaining affairs)
Mum would say “ well, this is what marriage and motherhood is all about. Bear with it.

You see what I mean?.. manakan simple things like that ku ticked off. Kan meletup, you meletup sendiri and plp think you’re dramatizing.. APAKAN?

Oh no… please don’t tell me its my hormones. I think that excuse its all bullshit.

Look, I can just look at the other way and not think about these small petty details and have it affect me. But can anyone stand their homes macam atu? Heck, even the car i drive sampah nada berbuang after they use the car! Atu pun cannot buang straight away kah? A few days in the car ani bah! Tikus wouldnt want to makan because everything is dried up by the sun!

You’d do the same wouldn’t you?
You’d feel the same. Wouldn’t you?

I thought writing out would make me feel better.. But if this continues, I can only pray that I stay sane and strong.


Ya allah.. keampunan-Mu lebih luas daripada dosaku. Dan kasih sayang-mu lebih aku harapkan daripada amalan ku..


Bee-Outch

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

4 weeks to go.. says the doctor

Ugghhhhh.. my feet are swollen.. i feel so sleepy these days and the current heat waves is not helping either.

Thank god I had finished most of my handover. Now I can go into labour peacefully not thinking about work or urgent contracts to settle etc etc etc. Well, aside from a few ad-hoc stufflah.. So my kawan-kawan, do not be surprised if i havent been posting for quite a while. I need my rest.. need to get some energy before the big day comes.

Bee-Ouch..

Friday, June 13, 2008

My baby all grown up!

I cant believe he's coming 2 now.. Baru jua ia baby eh..*sigh* They grow up sooooo fast..






Thats my Aiman allright.. wonder what kind of pleasant surprises this 2nd baby will bring us :o)
Bee-Outch

Saturday, June 7, 2008

Saw the bloody old fuck... again ...

O my...wat - a -day...

Woke up nicely to a cold Saturday Morning. I'm not complaining. I just love how cold the room can get when it rains. :o)

Decided to bring mum and Aiman for brunch at SoonLee Megamart Restaurant for some Fried Wet Meehoon, did a little shopping and off to home we went until...

The bloody Toyota Vios passed us by! (RR - Sikit ku lagi kan bagi fuck wah tapiii not in the presence of my son.. Kang malar tia ia bagi middle finger to everyone he meets! ) hahahaha jauh pahlis!!!

Urghhh... Thinking of that incident just boils me up and is it me or is it kan dakat semua kadai nada jual ciggies? I neeeeeed CANDYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Bee-outch

Friday, June 6, 2008

They're Here! They're Here!

Hehehehehe the baby stuff I ordered from Amazon are here! I’m quite pleased but not that pleased when my package suspiciously looked as if it had been opened earlier and then sealed back with an ordinary cello tape..

A package all the way from America..."cello taped"?

Hmmm.. that’s the thing about local post office I don’t fancy..

Next time, definitely using a courier service… Even the BETTER even though MAHAL.





Cant wait to order more :P

Bee-0utch

continuation!

Cont’

Syang mo makan mana? Just say it and I shall fulfill your tummy!"

Hehehehe ada saja my hubby ani.. Such a thoughtful man. I told him once during this 2nd pregnancy that I would love to go to KK again just to eat all their good food as how we did it when I was pregnant with Aiman.

Alhamdullilah, we did go to Seafood centre and ate like worth of $200++ of seafood… Nyaman guyyyyysssssssss…. Sorry.. no pics pasal we didn’t had time to take the camera and we only remembered that we should have taken pictures after dinner! Hehehehe opppsss!

But….

I did however took pictures of this new place hubby took me to this Chinese restaurant where they sserved this amazing roasted duck.
The new restaurant to try!

Giving me his horny look.. hehehhe


me giving back my seductive look.. aiseeeh... (padahal panas kali ah)

My order of the day - Chicken Rice. They had tons of other things on their menu but I'll stay safe lah for now..

Oh.. this was lovely to have on such a humid day. Its called the Cucumber Juice with Sour Plum. I know it sounds strange but my goodness, was it reshreshing ever! This was recommended by our Sabah-ians frens!.

Getting ready to indulge...

Hubby's order... The Roasted Duck Rice.. ( sometimes I think he's more Chinese then I am or will ever be! )

*buuurrrppp*

Cant wait for the next trip again...Thanks a bunch Syang! I really appreciate this.. Love you soo much! Muaaaahz muaaaahzzz

Bee-Outch!

Orang2 yang suka potong que..Started with a disaster.

Right…

First things first…

As you all know I have been planning for this break for ages ever since things at the office has gone topsie turvy! A break was needed.. A holiday and pampering was long overdue...

As we (myself and hubby) departed home at 5am, it was to our horrible surprise that there had been a long que as early as 6 am! We reached there at 7! Imgaine how long the que was by the time we got there! Ready to know how long we waited in the car to actually arrive to Kuala Lurah Imigresen? 3 fucking hours maaaaaannnnnnn…. I didn’t have breakfast lagi tu. All we packed was coffee & milo, a flask of hot water and biscuits!! 3 houuuurrrssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss… 3 jam! Alum lagi sampai ke KK kali ah… (and get this, at our normal days of travelling, it would only took us 4 – 5 hours to reach kota kinabalu dulu bah!)

And guess what time we actually reached kk finally? 7.30PM

Now, this is where I would tell you how the fuck it got so long.

1. It was the long weekend. God know I think 80% brunei’s population just had to go to KK that very same day.

2. Along the que, they were people who were on some road trip organization campaign. They used police escorts (police ah…..) to cut the que! Cut the bloody que!!! Justice served? Terkaraaaaaannnnnnggggggggg…..

3. So we then passed the imegresen until we got the ferry points. The first ferry point was not so bad. The sungai was so damit I think the ship’s captain had to just put the gear in forward and reverse, while his kulies at the bottom collect at least $8 ringgit per car for the whole day. Speaking of making money this season…. Some one is going to have a pretty fat paycheck..Lucky Bastards.

4. We waited..and waited.. Until we saw this car.. B*1113, Ford *censored*, potong que! Like literally potong que! We were swearing like fuck ani bah.. Inda apa. Tuhan akan balasi tu.. helloooooo… Everyone else is queing! WE’re not competing on who reaches to KK first!!! Everyone has to take their fair turns!!! Stupid ass! (BTW, artist Brunei nie..For those who know me, kindly contact me personally. Malas ku kan simpan namanya sini )wahahahahhaa…

I think it was at Sindumin Post (final passport point to kk) was when we saw the Fordie and the rest of the cars that cut the que (malas ku taruh plate license here.. it would be too long) kana stopped by the orang kastam or something. Apparently they had bought barang which they had not declared. The personnel attending seems seriously crossed and the Fordie Driver, lets say he had the “ Oh Shit Look” PADAN MUKA LOSER. APA RASANYA? And not only that, during the 2nd day of my trip, we heard the “ARTIST” couldn’t get a place to stay pasal nada d booknya awal .. DOUBLE PADAN MUKA. CUT QUE LAGI NAH. KETULAHAN.

Don’t you just love it when things end nicely ?..

To be continued..

BEE-OUTCH

Monday, June 2, 2008

KK TRIP - NEXT

Hiya again!

Now that i have blogged about that idiot , the issue is off my chest..

A preview of whats coming up, my trip to KK! Full of plate licenses and car models which i managed to jotted down who cut que (but got what they deserve in the end), the longest que ever experienced and the best food my hubby on this trip can ever provide.. I love being married to this man... Muuuuuuuaaaah.. Sayang Baby!!!

Stay tuned folks!

Bee outch!

RUDE DRIVER ENCOUNTER!!!!!!!

K*1654, Toyota Vios – You’re such a good example to the younger generation.

FUCK YOU LAH

Have you ever had this experience?

You head for your local supermarket to get some ingredients that you’ve missed out in your shopping list this morning. As you enter the parking lot and look for a an available parking space, you halted as the car in front of you was about to go in reverse… but there was something wrong..:

1)The stupid driver insisted in squeezing (into which was obviously NOT a proper parking space) but happened to be an area to line up shopping trolleys!

2)being polite, I make sure I double checked the car which was behind me and reserved a little as the car at the back didn’t even want to budge AT ALL.

3)While waiting for the idiot to park in his choice of space, he then gave me a glaring look and rudely gestured me to back off so that he could move forward and reverse comfortably again!!! BABI HUTAN.

4)And that’s not it ladies and gents, he stared at me as though kan cari kelahi sampai I parked ani bah!!! Pukima?!?!!??! My fault kan?

I was like “bring it on fat bitch”. As my breathing increased , I quickly walked over to the supermarket (he parked near the entrance) to show him who he was messing with, I slowly passed him by as he was chatting away with another man at the “For Sale” board. He looked at me twice and buat dunno.. Mcm inda berdusa bah c pukima ah.

I did my shopping and still inda puas ati, and so I went around the market to look for him as I knew he was with his wife somewhere.

And then…. Ah-HAH!

I saw him checking out some detergent.. I AGAIN, passed him by and pretending to be annoy while searching for something ( I made the cicak sound) .. Don’t ask me why but you don’t want to mess with a pregnant lady. He saw me and the condition I was in and buat dunno saja, again. but his face was like.. "OH SHITTTTTT"

Not long, I paid for my stuff and head back to my car. I saw him waiting in the car again. As I walked passed, I turned back and memorized his plate license number and of course glared back until I sampai my car. As I exited, he was infront of me. I zoomed and braked slightly an inch at the back, tail gated him as we exited and at this point I could see that he was looking through him rear view mirror. Apa lagi - I made gestures with my fingers to show him that I was memorizing his plate license number and then head off to my kampong pandan.

I mean, seriously. Buleh kah this plp?!?! He had the guts to show his body language and make rudely getures INSTEAD of politle asking me to reverse kah apa. Mau lagi bagi muka cari kelahi.

Plp, this guy was in his late 40’s!!!! LATE 40’s!!!!!!! FUCK YOU LAH ASSHOLE. INDAKAN KU SUMPAH MUAMU YANG ITAM ATU BUT I WONT PRAY GOOD THINGS FOR YOU EITHER. MENYUSAHKAN. I WONDER WHAT KIND OF EXAMPLE HE IS TO HIS FAMILY.. A SHAMEFULL one I presume.

I do apologise to any readers who think they know / personally related to this driver but I have ever right to be upset. If you think otherwise, then come and see me personally.


BEE-OUTCH